The One

Oh look

Who's that

In the window

I see

Oh no, oh no

It just

Can't be

The One

That I

Truly love

The One

Sent to me

From way

Above

My first

True love

My first

Romance

The One

With whom

I first

Danced

The One

That made me

Break down

And cry

The One

For whom

I would

Die

The One

I've known

For so many

Years

The One

That's made me

Shed so many

Tears

Don't turn around

Hush I say

Don't say a word

Don't look his way



This was the first poem I ever wrote.  It is old.  Interesting for me to look back and read.  JJ Porter.  My first love.  It's funny I've had 3 "The One's" since I wrote this poem.  4 great loves of my life but at the time I wrote this I couldn't conceive of being in love with anyone else.  I guess the lesson you can take from that is that life goes on, and that very few things are forever.  Do I still hold a place in my heart for Mr. Porter?  Of course!  I truly believe that love never goes away, only you find other people that you want in your life too.

Flying Without Wings

Flying Without Wings

(Song by: Westley)

Everybody's looking for a something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much it means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
‘Cause who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
At any given time or place

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
‘Cause you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends

I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

 

Okay it's boy band paradise :) but a beautiful song none the less.  On my short list of preferred wedding songs.  It covers exactly how I feel about life.  We do all need to find that one thing that makes our life worth waking up.  Once we find it, we feel complete.

 

 

 

To have a listen click here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1LEISP6e9c

We Had Love

We were songs sang to a darkened sky

The bluebirds last mournful cry

We were echoes of each rains fall

We had love then lost it all

We were leaves dried in the sun

Much too scared of what had become

We heard the earth but then it sighed

We had love but then it died

We whispers in the evenings light

Shared our tales, then ran in fright

We had what we didn't know

We had love but let it go

Sometimes life can seem so surreal.  In the heat of the moment you often don't realise the impact that it's making on your life but looking back you realise that that was the point that everything changed.  Something as simple as an accident, a break-up, a fight can effect your future in ways that no one could possibly foresee.  There is no way to prevent these moments, only to come to terms with the fact that they are meant to happen and whatever change you make is no ones fault... Only the progression of life moving forward.

Naked

Baby

I never wanted anything like this

Never trembled from a tender kiss

And look at this

You turned my world around

I’ve never had someone to hold

Someone who loved the tales I told

Someone who’d hold me through the night

Whisper love by candle light

Honey now I’m coming home

Chorus

And you are all the life I need

The light that shines the air I breathe

And I feel naked in my clothes

With you I’m so exposed

You give me space to just be me

And I feel naked in my clothes

With you I’m so exposed

You give me space to just be me

Baby

Never thought that it could be this way

You gave me wings to fly away

To find my way

Just another way to you

You give me laughter in the rain

You made me who I have became

You are part of me somehow

I’m giving all of me right now

And I know you feel the same

Chorus

And now we stand here face to face

The perfect time, the perfect place

We have said our I love you’s

And we both know that we do

I guess there’s nothing left to say

Chorus

And now I’m naked heaven knows

Feels so great to be exposed

You give me space to just be free

We’re all naked in our clothes

We should all be so exposed

Feels so great to just be free

I'm getting married this November.  We've been engaged now for 3 years and kept throwing the idea back and forth about a wedding.  Truthfully the idea overwhelmed us both.  Then we made a decision.  No wedding.  We are going to elope with a couple of our friends as witnesses and then In January we are heading off to the Mayan Riviera (also with a couple of friends) with the CFAR 590 Travel club!  I can't wait!  I have never been anywhere and this is so a better way to spend money than on one big party that is more stressful then fun.  So excited :)



Fetish

FETISH

(Author: unknown)

I realise that I am strung

As you and I become one

When we’re tongue tied, see baby

I got a fetish

Grabbing on hips as we dip

With your lips into dimensions

Let me mention

My fetish

Focus all three eyes

On those succulent thighs

You hypnotise, realise

My fetish

You bring me uncontrollable climaxes

As we interact our thoraxes

And the fact is I’m now carnivorously concentrating

On penetrating your pure potential

Envisioning your crimson crevice

Replenishes that powerful passion

A guess what I’m asking is may I please be anointed

By your life giving elixirs that glisten upon my head

Which is now swelling with enthusiasm

As orgasmic forces change courses

My diagnosis is for us to increase our closeness

So lets engage in some osmosis

Won’t you please

I said please

And swimming in your surrounding

May be silly sounding and quite confounding

To the hounding average savage

Who only seeks to ravage, do damage

While I burn hot like curried cabbage

Greens and rice’s

I’ll place my spices where it feels nicest, I promise

But the price is

That we stay within the truth

For you possess my fountain of youth and vigorness

So niggerness is in the rear end

Is so round and brown and now you hold my hands down

And commence to intensely pound and pound

And I swear I hear sounds of the most high

Rhymes beyond the heavens and sky

We make each other cry, laugh, scream and have good dreams

Marinating in our cream…of the crop…as juices drop

And bubbles pop from far within your special places

Tightly we embrace with ecstasy on our two faces

So then I say grace

So that I may taste your tantalising tonics, like phonics

I’m hook, line and sinker, tinkering with twinkling rings on toes

My tongue now know your tender textures

And our pleasure is now beyond measure

For we have ventured where no man has gone before

Captains log star date: 7774

We’ve just endured pulsating pleasure and are preparing ourselves for more

For our type of climaxes

Never taxes our thoraxes

Back to back can be our practise

Yes indeed, as I withhold the sacred seed

What you received are pleasure pains

From far within your moistened frame

I must maintain spontaneous combustible thrusts

As you are lustfully licking me I trust

But I won’t bust cause hear me cuss

Saying dddamnn! oooOOOhhh! SSSHHHITT!

Please excuse my mouth as it travels into the bush of kush

Ethiopian fallopian be getting pushed and pushed

Our moans and groans making mental therapeutic music to our ears

Skin is wet with sweat and tears

From our eyes

See I realise that I am strung

As you and I become one

When we’re tongue tied, see baby

I got a fetish

Grabbing on hips as we dip

With your lips into dimensions

Let me mention

My fetish

Focus all three eyes

On those succulent thighs

You hypnotise, realise

My fetish

To a young teenager this poem rocked!  It was so unbelievably dirty when I first discovered it.  I still enjoy reading it discovering new means int he texts and trying to remember what I thought of it back when I first read it....   All I can say is it still makes me smile... so it has to be a great poem right?

Mary Was A Virgin

Mary was a virgin

Venus was a god

Macbeth was just a fiction

Jesus was unflawed

Gretzky was a hero

DiCaprio a star

Einstein was a legend

Columbus travelled far

Elvis was a singer

Adam was our start

Mary was a virgin

And you were just my heart



Change is a normal part of growing and learning.  I feel no different than I did when I was 17 years old but yet I know I've changed in so many substantial ways.  Growing and changing is always a good thing cause to stay the same is to never move forward... a new job, a new love, a new town each change leads to a new beginning and that's how greatness is achieved.

I Told You So

"I Told You So"

(Randy Travis)

Suppose I called you up tonight
And told you that I love you
And suppose I said I wanna come back home
And suppose I cried and said I think I've finally learned my lesson
And I'm tired of spending all my time alone
If I told you that I realised you're all I ever wanted
And it's killing me to be so far away
Would you tell me that you love me too
And would we cry together
Or would you simply laugh at me and say

I told you so
Oh, I told you so
I told you someday you'd come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so
But you had to go
Now I've found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again

If I got down on my knees and told you I was yours forever
Would you get down on yours too and take my hand
Would we get that old time feeling
Would we laugh and talk for hours
The way we did when our love first began
Would you tell me that you've missed me too
And that you've been so lonely
And you've waited for the day that I returned
And we'd live and love forever
And that I'm your one and only
Or would you say the tables finally turned

Would you say I told you so
Oh, I told you so
I told you someday you'd come crawling back and asking me to take you in
I told you so
But you had to go
Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again

Now I found somebody new and you will never break my heart in two again

It is a question that most of us have wondered at some point or another.   Can we be forgiven are we hated by those we've wronged?  If we were to greet our past would it meet us with joy or would it turn from us with disdain?  We've all made mistakes but I like to thing we would be forgiven... The same way I would like to think that I would forgive those who wronged me.  "I told you so"  Is an awful phrase and it is something that I rarely say to people.... even though I do have the pleasure of thinking it an awful lot. :)

To hear this song as performed by Carrie Underwood click below

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbycvUQzVD8&ob=av2n





Survivor

You let me in and let me love

You never knew the pain I'd bring you

Couldn't stop what had begun

No door left for you to leave through

I couldn't warn you of your fate

Never knew I was infected

I found out a bit too late

No way that I could prevent it

I got bloodstains on my hands

Got your fate it's on my conscience

I survived all this some how

Can't make sense of all this nonsense

I've got guilt within my soul

I've got tears, I'm screaming inside

Guess I got what I deserved

I can't change the fact that you died

The world has become a scary place.  With Aids being a huge fear.  Everyone wants to be loved but it's come to the point where you almost need to get a blood test before you can get close to someone.  So many diseases have taken over but the ones that we can pass to each other are the scariest and the incurable are terrifying.  I don't care what sex, race or orientation you are, if you are sexually active with more than one partner.... get tested for HIV.  Don't be responsible for ending the life of someone you care about.



Infliction

Smell the sweat

Taste the tears

Hear the screams

Feel the fears

See her pain

Watch her cry

Listen to her sobs

Look at her die

Look what you've done

Can you not sense

What you have done

By your absence

Look at the girl

Why can't you see

What you've done to her

What you've done to me

I don't care how old we get.  Inside of us there is still a small child, who's feelings get hurt, who's heart gets broken, who is scared of the future and running from the past.  I think when moments get tough we separate ourselves from that person.  That inner voice that has too much emotion to bear.  Stepping outside of ones self is easy.  It's like watching a TV show, you are there but nothing is real.  We've all had moments like these.  Our senses go into overdrive and we seem to live outside of ourselves. 



The Shadows

She's leaving tomorrow

Cause she has to go

This town's full of a sorrow

That he'll never know

She can't go on walking in memories shade

She's through with talking

It's the price that she paid

The nights they were together

She let herself depend

They held one another

She never thought it would end

But as nights turned to days

And days brought new light

She was just a phase

And it just "was not right"

So she's leaving tomorrow

The plans are all made

She can't go on walking

In memories shade

Some people call it running away.... I call it survival... There's no getting over someone when you bump into them everyday, when people talk about them to you, when you cant get away from the memories.  Sometimes a fresh start can make all the difference... I wrote this a long time ago; before I moved to Flin Flon, moving to Flin Flon has brought me so many things.  Two beautiful children that I adore and a fiance who is good to me and understands me and has become my best friend.  If I ran away the only thing I can say in my defence is that I would do it again every time.



Food For Thought

Watch your thoughts they become your words, watch your words they become your actions, watch your actions they become your habits, watch your habits they become your character, watch your character it determines your thoughts and becomes you eternity - Rabbi Kalman Packouz

There is a secret to being happy... and its so obvious that often many of us over look it.  Decide to be happy.  Wake up each more and think of all the things you have to be happy about and let go of all the negative... someone snubs you... forget it!  They're the ones with the problem, your bills are piling up?  No sense stressing... you'll pay them when you have the money.... Life is all about how you live it.  Let go of the past, don't worry about the future, live in the present and be good to people around you.  That is the secret to happiness.

TO SANTA CLAUSE AND LITTLE SISTERS

To Santa Clause And Little Sisters

(Author: Unknown)

Once... he wrote a poem

And called it Chops

Because that was the name of his dog

And that was what it was all about

And the teacher gave him an "A"

And a gold star

And his mother hung it on the kitchen door

And read it to all his aunts

Once... he wrote another poem

And he called it Question Marked Innocence

Cause that was the name of his pain

And the professor gave him an "A"

And a strange and steady look

And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door

Cause he never let her read it

Once... at 3am... he tried another poem

And called it nothing

Because that was what it was all about

And he gave himself an "A"

And a slash on each damp wrist

And he hung it on the bathroom wall

Cause he couldn't reach the kitchen

I'm not sure why but I find this poem profoundly sad.   There are many poems about death and suicide out there but this just seems so tragic, maybe its the imagery of the mother, or that when you think of school grades you think of children.  Whatever the reason this poem has stuck with me through years, travelling with me in my poetry book through 9 different moves because it pulls on me in a way I can't describe.  Does it move you this much or is it just something in my make up?



SILENCE

Silence moving in on me

Loud, so loud I can not sleep

Drifting in and out of dream

Afraid to be

You are just a memory

Lost my head now I can't see

Want to bring you back to me

Afraid to leave

And I

I saw those tears you cried

Left you there to die

Wouldn't even try to save you

And I

I'm angry on the inside

Tears stream down from my eyes

As I see me walk away

And you

You watch me as I say goodbye

Try to tempt me with your lies

But I can't hear what you say

And I

Hear it all around me

Loud, so loud I can not sleep

Drifting in and out of dream

Afraid to be

The silence is sure to turn me

Burn me

Make me feel alone and why

Your memory it keeps

Loud, so loud I can not sleep

Memories are hard, sometimes you forget the ones you want to keep and sometimes you remember those you want to let go.  They can interrupt your life at the most awkward moments, completely ruining your day or making it brighter.  But one thing about our memory is that it shapes us and every person we know and talk to shapes us.  We are who we are because of things important enough for us to remember.  Something so insignificant at the time could be the cornerstone of our entire future.

When I See You Smile

When I See You Smile

Bad English

Sometimes I wonder
How I'd ever make it through,
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn't have a clue

'Cause sometimes it seems
Like this world's closing in on me,
And there's no way of breaking free
And then I see you reach for me

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you, baby
And every thing's alright,
every thing's alright

When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me

Baby there's nothing in this world
that could ever do
What a touch of your hand can do
It's like nothing that I ever knew

And when the rain is falling
I don't feel it,
'cause you're here with me now
And one look at you baby
Is all I'll ever need,
you're all I'll ever need

Chorus

Sometimes I wanna give up
I wanna give in,
I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby
And every thing's alright,
every thing's alright

So right...

Nothing is more heart warming then a genuine smile on someone you love.... it may be your kids, your parents, your lover or your best friend when they give you that smile that says they are totally happy in the moment their in, you feel blessed, blessed to be with them, blessed to be a part of their life.  A smile is more powerful than a tear, means more than an angry word and says more than any poem or song ever could.  Watch the people around you today, watch for smiles and be thankful.... life is a blessing.

if you want to hear this song.... CLICK BELOW

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu6pclWsxzs&ob=av2e

In An Asylum

I scare myself

I fear my wrath

I once was ashamed

But now I just laugh

I feel anger

I fill with rage

Feel trapped inside

My shrinking cage

See red and black

Where blue should be

Know everyone

Is mocking me

I scream aloud

I cry in pain

They hold me down

And call my name

They give me drugs

To make me sleep

And write it down

In books they keep

They want to know

What lies within

A soul so filled

With mortal sin

But first they need

To understand

The way I feel

Is who I am

I've always wanted to spend a week in a mental institution.  Please don't think me insensitive but I always thought it would somehow make me understand humanity better to see that side of people.  Where they've lost perspective on reality and have given up social convention and just are.  To see that side of people that is so often dismissed as crazy... I don't think crazy is a word for it... maybe broken somehow but aren't we all?



Shadow

SHADOW

(Author unknown)

I am the darkness that will always remain

Who follows your footsteps and whispers your name

I linger behind you, a reminder, a refrain

Who sings you sweet nothings and plays all your games

I move with your gestures and mirror your soul

I am your grey side, the blackness, the coal

I live without substance and burn without fire

I am your truth, your mimic, your liar

I chase without running, I follow your lead

I'm always behind you

I'm the dark side you bleed

I'm not going to leave you, you're mine till you die

I'm your nothing, your everything, a flicker, a sigh

So run if you will but I'll always be near

Your echo, your darkness

The shadow, your fear



My best friend Veronica is terrified of people chasing her.... If you want to scare her just start running after her.... It's not a joke to her; her fear is real.  What happened in her life that made that her terrified?  She doesn't know, maybe it was a dream when she was a child, or maybe she saw a scary movie before she was ready.  Myself I can't dive off heights into water.  I know where my fear comes from.  When I was a kid I overheard my mom and grandma talking about someone diving off the high dive in Thompson and splitting their stomach open... losing their guts in the pool....Disturbing and you would think that knowing where the fear came from would help ease my terror but it doesn't and height above the side of the pool I freeze... I'm not afraid heights in general.... I once climbed a water tower in a drunken stupor but put a pool of water under me and I can't move.  Fear does that, it paralyses.... Our fears control us in a way that nothing else can.  Those of us who force ourselves to fight our fears are stronger for it.

There Were Times

You can't see what you're doing to me

All those nights you threatened to leave

All those times you walked out on me

Have forced me to see

You're not for me

I'm not saying that all this was wrong

God knows I've loved you all along

And I will miss the good times we shared

You know that I cared

Or I wouldn't be there

Chorus

There were times

But this is goodbye

There were nights

But I need my pride

There were days

But I made up my mind

This is goodbye

For the last time

Please don't stand there so unaware

You know this hasn't been working for years

We've both changed and you know that it's true

It's what I have to do

I'm gonna miss you



Chorus

There were times

But this is goodbye

There were nights

But I need my pride

There were days

But I made up my mind

This is goodbye

For the last time

Oh, it's the last time

For you to kiss me

Oh, it's the last time

For you to hold me

Oh, just remember

How sweet love can be

You don't need me

Chorus

There were times

But this is goodbye

There were nights

But I need my pride

There were days

But I made up my mind

This is goodbye

For the last time

Oh, it's the last time

Yeah, it's the last time

(To fade...)

I am proud to say I have no ex's that I hate.  Saying goodbye to someone you've loved should never be an anger thing.... There are exceptions of course... abuse and such.... but even something like cheating I think is forgivable... not that I would stay with someone who cheats but if you really love someone.... can you not forgive them their mistakes and remember all the good times before them.... People grow apart and people change but every person in our lives that we love and who love us is embedded upon our hearts forever.  For those of you that do hate your ex's I say this... there is a fine line between love and hate... I suspect you wouldn't hate them so much if you didn't love them deep down somewhere.

Sorrow Of The Heart

All I have left of you is time

A time so long ago

A second in my life remembered

To you unknown

A little laughter in my lifetime

A little sorrow of the heart

A second turned to minute

Then you tore my world apart

A space in time you filled

And for awhile I liked the view

But was worth the tears I cried?

Not you

Now you're fading

I'm escaping

You can't find your way back through

And I'm finished what I started

When I fell in love with you

A memory still lingers

Of the time we shared

Looking back into the past

I wonder why I cared

Just a second, just a moment

And then our lives did part

A little laughter, little smiles

A little sorrow of the heart



Nothing better than a sad poem.  A broken heart can bring out the inner poet in all of us.  It's funny how words come out like tears for a writer.  Sadness can be the best inspiration... Some of the greatest works of art and compositions have been born from heartbreak.

Anytime

With a passion that sets the world on fire

I see you when I close my eyes

My body shakes with red desire

My temperature and my heartbeat rise

You play coy and hard to get

But I see through your charade

I touch you where I haven't yet

That's how the game is played

I feel your lips upon my skin

Your legs entwined in mine

You're my favourite guilty sin

And you can have me anytime

Your body heat against my back

Your breath upon my cheek

There's nothing now I feel I lack

I've never felt so weak

Then I feel you warm inside

I lose control; you're on my mind

To hell with damned and foolish pride

Yeah, you can have me anytime

Kinda racy, huh?  I love the beginning part of relationships.  I've been with my hubby now for almost 8 years... I love him but you lose that passion that comes in the beginning... that can't keep your hands off each other, kissing in public, never apart time.  You miss that when you settle down.  Though there is still a lot to be said for leaving the dating scene behind.... no bad break-ups, never getting stood up, never wondering who the hell this person is.  To each their own.  I'm happy but you can get a little nostalgic for those early days sometimes.



A Really Good Quote

"You remind me of a song I've never heard of, a poem that was never written and a place I'm not even sure I've been to" (Grandpa Simpson)

Sometimes you can find beauty in the words of the beast.... I've been on weight watchers since the end of January and I've done really good.... I've lost 50 pounds (though I still have a long way to go).  We are painting our living room right now so I was down on my knees paining one of the corners and the hubby says "You're butt's getting smaller.... I'm not sure I like that." Now my hubby has never been Fabio, this comment I took as a complement, and that being said it was one of his better ones... It made feel really good anyway... though... he's no grandpa Simpson :)



Only Women Bleed

Only Women Bleed

Alice Cooper

Man got his woman to take his seed he got the power oh she got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man she feeds him dinner or anything she can
She cries alone at night too often he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed
Man makes your hair grey he's your life's mistake all you're really looking for's an even break
He lies right at you you now hate this game he slaps you once in a while and you live and love in pain
She cries alone at night too often he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all ooh
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed
Man got his woman to take his seed he got the power oh she got the need
She spends her life through pleasing up her man she feeds him dinner or anything she can
She cries alone at night too often he smokes and drinks and don't come home at all
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed
Black eyes all of the time don't spend a dime clean up this grime
And you there down on your knees begging me please come watch me bleed
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed
Only women bleed only women bleed only women bleed

Abuse comes in many shapes and forms.  Physical or mental doesn't matter.  Abuse hurts.  Women and children and even some men who are abused by the people they love deserve to be helped and protected.  But usually the shame of it is so severe that they that don't tell anyone....  They cry alone.  This song hits my heart strings every time and makes me thankful that I have a man in my life and people in my life who treat me well. 

If you want to hear the song click here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXW9w17Tf0A

Myself

Today was not a dream

I spied you sitting unaware

And saw for the first time

Who you really were

You're lips as soft as rose pedals

Your eyes liquid like wine

And I saw you relaxed

In the mercy of light

Did I speak or move? No

I just stood there, paralysed

By what I now knew you were

And what is this thing

This wholly indulging thing

That possessed me so

You did not look or touch

Nor did you saunter to me

It was your uninterested look

That made me see

You were myself

Have you ever seen yourself reflected in someone else's eyes?  A soul mate?  A twin?  Can you see some of yourself in your greatest enemy?  I think that if we look hard enough we can see a bit of ourselves in everyone.  Murders, fiends, saints and sinners...  We are all and we are none of the above.  We are who we are and if were honest about it we know the all the best and worst points of our existence.