Shackled, Tied And Chained

People tell you to look to the future and never look back

I don’t have a choice

My life is packed in boxes and moving backwards

Back to you

It’s always comes back to you

When I left, I never really left…

You’ve always held me, I’ve always stayed

In the circle of your arms and the warmth of your smile

You’ve always been my forever

Maybe a decade wasn’t long enough

But it was all I could take

Each day growing longer without your voice

Each moment a waking nightmare

Cause without you it’s nothing

I’m nothing

I’m hollow

So I’m returning

To what… I don’t know

I just know that I must

Maybe this new path will find us together

Maybe it will give us a better ending

But whatever the case I can’t make it worse

This is as bad as it will ever be

This is the reason I cry

And sleeping haunts me

This is the thorn in my side

I’m shackled, tied and chained

Waiting for a change

And any change will do

It;s funny to think I only wrote this in January.  So much has changed since then.  I'm home.  While technically not yet but I feel like I'm home.  I have been spending every weekend wrapped in the love of my life's arms... something I only dreamed would happen again.  I am so blissfully happy and thankful... there is a small part of me that is waiting for the other shoe to drop... the inevitable decline of this uphill rise... but whenever I feel that way I remind myself to just enjoy the moment... enjoy the fact that right now... I have everything I ever wanted.