THE NAUSEATING SWEETNESS OF A LOVE POEM

THE NAUSEATING SWEETNESS OF A LOVE POTION

(Author: Unknown)

While I sleep your arms have stretched across me

And my heartbeat is all you could possibly hear

Meanwhile all I can hear is the sound of your breathing

And the highlighting shadows of this pre-dawn repose

Fall across your well-kissed face

I have given you the blankets for you are mine

And your warm naked softness is a remarkable paradox

Of your great strength and vulnerability

Was it really me that made me this happy

From fear of anything waking me from this perfect rest

Even my own movements, I stay awake and guard you through the night

If I could see the future I’d say that someday we would have beautiful babies

Or that you’ll hate me for everything I’ve done

I might for see the happiest portion of our life together

Or the bitter fights of our departure

However all I can see right now is how much I love you

I fear I have gone mad

I ask people if they know where I am

And if they can see you holding my hands

Since I can’t trust my sense

I fear I have gone mad

And that your voice is the phantom of my insanity

In my head that sings me to my doom

I fear I have gone mad

Discovering in a dream your smiles

And my favorite place in your arms between your breasts

I fear I have gone mad

For the mad certainly seem happy

My kids have been out of the house for 3 nights now.... Staying at Grandma's... it's the longest they've ever been away from me and the house is so quite and kinda sad.  On the bright side it's given me and the hubby a chance to bond again... no not in the dirty way lol.  We have had some real quality alone time.  It's been nice :)

Tears In Heaven

Tears in heaven

Dusty eyes

Broken hearts

So many lies

Dancing shadows

Death inside

No where to run

Nowhere to hide

Misshapen love

Misshapen times

Years of sadness

Crying lines

Sorrow filled

With hopeful tears

Happiness

So many fears

Dedicated in loving memory to:

Travis Merasty

A friend of mine passed away in a house fire when I was a teenager.  We weren't close friends but we were friends.  I was in BC at the time and never made it back for the the funeral.  I still hate that I missed it.  I think about Travis often and wonder where he would be today if he wasn't taken so long before his time.



Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not?

Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not?

(Performed by: Thompson Square)

We were sittin' up there on your momma's roof
Talkin' 'bout everything under the moon
With the smell of honeysuckle and your perfume
All I could think about was my next move

Oh, but you were so shy, so was I
Maybe that's why it was so hard to believe
When you smiled and said to me
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?

Are we gonna do this or what?
I think you know I like you a lot
But you're 'bout to miss your shot
Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

It was the best dang kiss that I ever had
Except for that long one after that
And I knew if I wanted this thing to last
Sooner or later I'd have to ask for your hand

So I took a chance
Bought a wedding band and I got down on one knee
And you smiled and said to me
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?

Are we gonna do this or what?
I think you know I love you a lot
I think we've got a real good shot
Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

So, we planned it all out for the middle of June
From the wedding cake to the honeymoon
And your momma cried
When you walked down the aisle

When the preacher man said, "Say I do"
I did and you did too, then I lifted that veil
And saw your pretty smile and I said
"Are you gonna kiss me or not?

Are we gonna do this or what?
Look at all the love that we got
It ain't never gonna stop
Are you gonna kiss me or not?"

Yeah baby, I love you a lot
I really think we've got a shot
Are you gonna kiss me or not?

So this is going to be my wedding song.... I don't know if I mentioned before that me and my hubby are eloping in November.  But even though I'm not having the big cerimony I will still have my wedding dance and this is totally the song for us.  We have a relationship that some people can't understand.  lots of teasing and bickering... all in jest.  Yes sometimes lines are crossed but most of the time we smile and laugh and have a great time.  There is no one I'd rather insult or get insulted by :)

Untitled

Sometimes you find someone

Who thinks and feels the same as you

Not only in one aspect

But even in the ones you thought no one could understand

The ones that hurt so bad you can't cry

The ones that kill you a little bit inside

These people can read your thoughts before you think them

But only because they've thought them too

We call these people our friends

But they are so much more

They are our reflections

I have been blessed to find some really great Friends in my life.  I grew up In Lynn Lake.  A small town in the secluded north and it had a lot of bad points but the best thing about living there was the friends.  No matter how much you got on people's nerves you were always friends (after all your options were limited) and though sometimes everyone knowing your business was a pain in the butt most of the time it was great cause they were always there for you when things got rough.  To all my Lynn Lake friends and the ones who have been there for me since.  I LOVE YOU GUYS!



Rage

Tonight

Let the shadows fall around

Lift your strong feet off the ground

And feel the night explode

You can start to let it go

Tonight

Let the music take you away

You can feel your heartbeat again

And now the world implodes

Barely breathing now you know

Chorus

Rage

Turn the emptiness away

You don’t have to feel lonely

Rage

Let go of all your pain

And you will feel finally

What it’s like to be somebody

Rage…

Tonight

It’s all gonna blend as one

Feel the burn, the heat of the sun

Heed not to what you’re told

Now it’s time to let it go

Tonight

Scare your enemies away

Go home and cherish your day

There’s no need to lock your doors

They can’t hurt you anymore

Chorus

Cause they can’t take it away

It’s yours if you do want it

Rage

And you’ll see a change in the day

You got to do things your way

You don’t have to feel lonely

Chorus

This song is so 80's lol, don't know where it came from... I was working in my yard one day and just started singing random crap and this what came out.... I find it very catchy and since I wrote it I find myself singing it often.... Would love to hear it finished with music behind.... If anyone wants to help me with that :)



Untitled

Untitled

(Author: unknown)



All are doomed to burn

Love feeds the flames

Days of endless pain

And the smoke takes each in turn

All are doomed to rust

Time destroys our lives

Nights cut like knives

And the wind carries away the dust

All are doomed to love

All are doomed to die

Tonight bring the black tomb

For even the most high

Even those in this room

Cannot pretend to fly

And I know even you

Even I

Must die

I don't know who who wrote this poem... don't remember where I got it from or even how long I've had it in my book for... I do know that it always makes me fear death... something I usually don't spend a lot of time thinking about... The truth to it is plain... everyone goes someday.  No matter how much we love them or how much they love us at one moment or another you will be ripped from those you love... Try sleeping easy after that realisation...

Awesome quote

You find the coolest stuff on facebook.   There is nothing I disagree with above.... Bob Marley knows what he's talking about and if you like myself have found a good man, try to cut him some slack... after all he's only a man... You're never gonna find a perfect one :)



Scared

I see the anger deep inside of you

Screaming with the hatred of life

I want to run to you and comfort you

But at the same time I'm scared

Scared to touch you or get close to you in anyway

You may think wrongly of my intentions

You may think I don't feel bad

You may hold me and cry on my shoulder

I may take pleasure in your pain

I don't want you to hurt

I curse thee that brings pain unto you

With a broken heart I turn and leave

With no backbone

I've always been attracted to the disturbed.... My first love suffered from depression, probably a bit of roid rage and had a hell of a temper.... My second love was a religious zealot with more issues than I could shake a stick at (did I use that metaphor right?).  I think a lot of women are like this attracted to people they think they can fix.... take it from me you can't fix them.  I am now engaged to a man with little to no issues (though I suppose technically we all have our issues), it's nice not to have to deal with the melodrama of someone Else's problems.



Love Hurts

Love Hurts

(Performed by: Nazareth)

Love hurts, love scars,
Love wounds, and mars,
Any heart, not tough,
Or strong, enough
To take a lot of pain,
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

I'm young, I know,
But even so
I know a thing, or two
I learned, from you
I really learned a lot,
Really learned a lot
Love is like a flame
It burns you when it's hot
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts

Some fools think of happiness
Blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess
They're not foolin me

I know it isn't true,
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh,ooh love hurts
Ooh,ooh love hurts

[guitar solo]

I know it isn't true,
I know it isn't true
Love is just a lie,
Made to make you blue
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh love hurts
Ooh ooh...

Was watching Big Bang Theory last night and Amy was playing this song on her harp.... awful rendition... great song.  It's one of those songs that makes you choke up everytime you hear it... I thought I would share it here :)

Listen Here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJ7Myy7Hpxw

Choices

Choices

(Author unknown)

Come to me temptation implores

And I will open passions doors

Let loose the floodgates of desire

To burn your body with it’s fire

Come to me sweet love implores

And I will open heavens doors

Let loose the floodgates of your heart

To pierce your soul with cupids dart

Be careful my friend which one you choose

For one will heal…the other bruise

I can think of nothing more human than making bad decisions.... It's how we learn and how grow... sometimes we make the same bad decisions over and over again without learning the lesson and this is when it gets complicated.  How can you ever expect to grow if you don't learn.  So make all the bad decisions you want but take them with you the next time you have choice.... and maybe... just maybe you'll make the right one.

Here

She stares down at her hand

Remembers when he held it

He was here

She looks at the gold still shimmering

With a tear

He was here

She looks to their bureau for comfort

At their child

He was here

To the bedroom they added last winter

She remembers

He was here

In the good times

They made laugh lines

Through the long nights

They made love

Was he there

Was he an angel

Did he watch her from above

Did he remember

All those winters

All the laughter

The happy tears

Did he watch her

Still protect her

Was he here

My grandpa passed away two years ago.... it seems like yesterday... I wrote this poem before he passed but I still picture my grandma every time I read it... It's sad to lose someone... no matter whether it is suddenly or after a long illness... though sometimes a person can be grateful for the release it is never easy to go on with a part of your life missing.  I love you grandpa... I miss you everyday.



Unwell

Unwell

(Performed by: Matchbox 20)

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be

This is my anthem... In the words of Sheldon "I'm not crazy... my mother had me tested." I think we all feel this way sometimes... either that of I am way off and maybe I am a little bit crazy :) Thoughts we think, things we see... life can haunt you and the longer you live it the more it will possess your soul.

Quote for you :)

When you're away I'm restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected, only here's the rub my darling dear, I feel the same when you are near - Samual Hoffenstien

Funny how that works huh?  Sometimes we love someone so much and yet we want to just start beating on them!  My fiancee, bless his soul, sometimes makes me want to scream... I know that these traits are typical man things but really?  Dirty socks on the floor, toilet seats left up, 5 minutes turning into 2 and half hours... grrr  men suck and truthfully sometimes I wish I had a female partner...  at least then I wouldn't have to worry about the toilet seat!

The Hours

Far away

Even when I‘m close

You’re far away

Even when I hold you tight all day

You’re far away

From me

Words to say

Somehow I just can’t find the way

And the hours seem to fade away

We’re lost today

You see

Chorus

And as the hours pass us by

And as each new day turns to night

And like the music echos endlessly

That’s you and me today

Never moving still the same

Nothing changes but the name

And if it’s all that life is for

I can’t take it anymore

As the hours fade away

Sleepless nights

Never ending are our bitter fights

We can’t seem to find a way

To get along for just one day

And our time has slipped away

Chorus

And as the hours pass us by

And as each new day turns to night

And like the music echos endlessly

That’s you and me today

Never moving still the same

Nothing changes but the name

And if it’s all that life is for

I can’t take it anymore

As the hours fade away

And as the hours fade away

Times escaped me I can’t stay

You are all my life is for

I can’t take it anymore

And our time has seen it’s day

Chorus

And as the hours pass us by

And as each new day turns to night

And like the music echos endlessly

That’s you and me today

Never moving still the same

Nothing changes but the name

And if it’s all that life is for

I can’t take it anymore

As the hours fade away

And if that’s all that life is for

I can’t take it anymore

As the hours fade away

Another song I wrote that I love, I can hear these songs so clearly in my head it's like I've heard them on the radio.... Again i say to anyone out there.... if you would like to help me put music to any of my lyrics I would so love to do that with you :)

Brain Washed

Brain Washed

(Ian Sharman)

The T.V. burns brightly

Bombarding me with images of a perfect world

But I know their game

I know happiness cannot be found in the bottom of a soft drink

I view intellectually

Refusing to accept the cultural imperialism of corporate American

I switch it off

Finish my Coke, I slip on my Nike trainers

And leave

In search of fried chicken

Love the blue faces boys!  Not only is this poem ironically funny it also so true.  There are so many hypocrites in this world.  People who says they are not about their possessions when they are where designer clothing, people who say that money doesn't matter to them but have big screen TVs I don't say things.  Money ultimately does matter and there are possessions I own that I love.  Could I survive without them?  Absolutely!  Would I be as happy..... who knows?  I certainly don't want to give it a try.

Lost Loves

Two broken hearts

Mended as one

Now they are

Each others sun

They'll dance and they'll smile

They'll laugh and they'll cry

They'll be together

Till the day that they die

They're each others heroes

To each other a mate

Brought together by

A stroke of fate

Each looking for

An open door

Cause each lost in love

One time before

I wish that they were you and I

I want it at any cost

But deep within my soul I know

We were the loves that were lost



It's only with time that one can look back and say that some heartbreaks are for the best.  In that terrible moment when it happens you feel shattered and like nothing will ever be okay again.  But life goes on and time inevitably heals the wounds.  Though sometimes you may be scarred, you often find something else, something that works for you even better than you could have hoped.  This is often the case with love.  We cant see the forest through the trees but there as the cliche continues; there is always something better for us out there.

Some Gave All

Some Gave All

(Performed by: Billy Ray Cyrus)

I knew a man called him Sandy Kane
Few folks even knew his name
But a hero was he
Left a boy, came back a man
Still many just don't understand
About the reasons we are free

I can't forget the look in his eyes
Or the tears he cries
As he said these words to me

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

Now Sandy Kane is no longer here
But his words are oh so clear
As they echo through out our land
For all his friends who gave us all
Who stood the ground and took the fall
To help their fellow man

Love your country and live with pride
And don't forget those who died America can't you see

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall, yes recall
Some gave all

Some gave all

Before there was Miley Cyrus there was Billy Rae.  I love this song...  It makes me very sad and it completely puts me in the shoes of how it must have felt.. watching someone go off to war, the joy when they returned, the sorrow if they didn't.  Enough to break a person's heart. 

To have a listen click here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ydWhRObVxrM

 

Sometimes

Sometimes it's not enough to hear you breathing

Sometimes I want to hold you much to close

Sometimes it's not enough to be beside you

Sometimes you're what I'm aching for the most

Sometimes I don't even want to hear you

Sometimes I'm just so angry I could scream

Sometimes I picture life without you

Sometimes I wonder if I could ever leave

Sometimes when I daydream we're together

Sometimes when I daydream we're apart

Sometimes we walk through this life forever

Sometimes it's someone else who's in my heart

And though sometimes it may seem that I'm confused

And though sometimes I'm not sure of where we'll land

There are sometimes when I know we are forever

And those are the times I know just who I am

We all have doubts when it comes to love.  It comes from being hurt, from seeing those around you hurt.  We live in a terrible time where love often ends in heartbreak.  In the past people stuck together and lived their lives together.  It was a bond that meant something.  That often is not the case now.  People look at divorce as an easy option.  It should never be easy.  Doubts have always been there but there was just no easy out before.  I think that if you choose to share your life with someone that that mean through the hard times too.  And god knows there are a lot of hard times.

  

Expert #2 from unfinished book

I didn’t sleep well that night.  Shane was thankfully asleep when I got back and I laid in the bed beside him for a long time softly crying and racked with guilt.  I hadn’t found the answers I had needed.  There was too much passion with David to tell what feelings were real and what weren’t.   I finally fell asleep and my dreams haunted me; flashing images of David and Shane both beautiful and both angry at me.  When I woke Shane was gone and I had a brief moment of panic thinking he had left me.  I got dressed and went outside.

“Hey Hun,” Shane said cheerfully as he walked across the clearing and swept me into a kiss. He was carrying his bag.

“What are you doing?” I asked fearfully.

“Just helping pack up the boat.  Ling Sue gave us a basket of fruit for the trip.  We’re leaving right away.”  I saw David come out of Ling Sue’s hut and our eyes locked briefly.  He looked away.  “How’d you sleep?”  Shane was asking.  “You were tossing and turning all morning.”

“Just overheated,” I lied, “I’ll be happy when we get back to an air conditioned world.”  He smiled and kissed my cheek

“I’m going to put these on the boat.  Want me to grab your bag?”

“Sure, I should go say goodbye to Ling Sue before we leave.  I’ll be there shortly.”  He smiled and left.  David had gone back to his hut and I debated going in to apologize.  Instead I went to see Ling Sue.  I knocked lightly on her door.

“Come in dear,” she replied.  She was sitting on her bed and Brent was behind her brushing her hair.  “Leave us Brent, we have much to discuss.”  Brent left the hut saying goodbye to me as he went.  “Please sit.” She said gesturing to the chair.

“I’ve made a big mistake!” I blurted suddenly as tears filled my eyes.  Ling Sue laughed.
            “Dry your eyes dear.  There are no mistakes in life, only events that change it.  Whether they feel like smart choices or bad ones they are always what fate intended to happen.”  Somehow this comforted me and I smiled. “You need to learn to trust your instincts and David needs to learn to control his.  You both accomplished that last night.” She said.

“But Shane...”

“Will never know” she interrupted “And though you may feel guilty, you shouldn’t.  It is the path you must follow.  The world depends on it.”

“What do you mean?  I thought my child was meant to rule hell, isn’t that a bad thing?”  She looked confused.

“You don’t know,” she nodded as if she finally understood something. “Your child will defeat Satan.  There will be no more hell, at least not like today.”

“You mean my child will eliminate evil?”

“No.  Evil exists in the heart of every one of us but your child will be a source for good like the world has never seen before.” 

So much edditing so little time.... actually that's not true... the real problem is that I have too much time.  I keep think oh I will edit tomorrow...cause I have no deadline.  Although I really would like to be through the first round of editing for mid august cause I will be taking part in a writers workshop.  So today I set myself a deadline.  I will finish my first round of editing by the beginning of august.  Now I have so little time :)



I'll Not Weep

I'll Not Weep That Thou Are Going To Leave Me

(Emily Bronte)

So if a tear when thou art dying

Shall haply fall from me

It is but my soul is sighing

To go and rest with thee

My favourite book is Wuthering Heights.  I read it for the first time in grade 8 as a school assignment and I absolutely loved it.  It's not that it was just well written but I really felt for the main character Heathclif.  I guess I've always been a romantic.  Some people read the book and thought Heathcliff was an evil man, but I only saw someone tortured by love.  Love can harden people, turn them into things they never would have dreamt of.  Love can devour us as was the case with Catherine and her husband.  But love can also complete us, fill us with a sense of belong that was once missing.  I gained a lot of insight into love from reading Wuthering Heights.  If you've never read it I suggest you do.